Thursday, September 29, 2005
aighT peepS..bRace uRself..tiS is g0n b a l0oNg eNtry..
sum1 t0ld me cRyin w0nt help s0lve aNythin.i diSagRee.
cRyin helps me let 0ut e unhappiNeS,huRt,sadneSs iN me. i uSed t0 cRy
@ e slighteSt tiNg back deN but aS yRs g0t by, i diN cRy aS much aS i did back deN.. i leaRned tt cryiN makeS me feel betteR but d0esNt s0lve anY pr0b.
peN-ing ma t0tS heRe, tearS r seemiNgly fl0wiN fr0m n0wheRe..i caNt help it..
i tiNk,t0t,tiNk n t0t b0ut e same tiNg. US.
i diN meaN t0 fall feR u.
diN mean t0 wriTe u tt letteR,but i did.
diN meaN t0 huRt u wit e w0rds i said.
diN meaN t0 mSg s0rRy,but i did.
i did all tiS simply becauSe 0f 1 reaS0n. u R special.. u caNt chaNge e fact..
i tRied walkiN away..h0piN i'd f0rget e feeliNs i hv feR u n juS b freNs
but s0methiN keepS pulliN me back.. 'i keep g0in back t0 tt 1 tiNg i need t0 walk awaY fr0m..' i mighT hav maNy freNs but n0t maNy stayS 0r r deR alwaeS.. mayb itS cauSe we'Re g0in diff pathS n0w.. but u hv beeN deR fer me..iN tiS p0int 0f my life, u've d0ne evrythiN feR me.. n0 guy haS eveR made me special tis way.. n i waNna thaNk u feR tt..
i n0e i've huRt him al0t. and indirectly,i huRt mySelf twice as much. y? becauSe i s0 badly waN tiS freNship t0 laSt.. but i reliSed i d0n undeRstand him lyke i uSed t0. i'm tryiN t0 save tiS freNship.it meaNs s0 much t0 me.i'm tRyin haRd t0 chaNge,feR a fren. i p0ured my teaRs,heaRt n s0ul int0 tiS freNship.cuz i n0e it'll g0 faR.. n01 haS eveR made me feel tiS way..deR's juS sumthiN b0ut u tt made me truSt,s0methiN b0ut u tt made my life seemed such a peRfect place. but e m0re i tRy,e w0rst it getS. he'S h0t headed,i am t0o. i'm nt caReful wit my w0rds,he'S t0o.
i diN meaN t0 snap at him yeSt. really diN mean it. buT it was staRtin t0 get 0n my neRves h0w impatieNt u caN get. beiN PMSy i waS, i 4g0t t0 watch my w0rds (which i had beeN caReful wit feR e past week s0 aS nt 2 crEate a fight agiaN). n yeah..i had t0 d0 juS tt.. haiz..
y caNt freNs b juS freNs? y d0es l0ve hav t0 cum fiNd itS way iN btwN n bec0me tt baRrier.. n0w everythiN he d0eS is giviN me h0pe. i shRugged 0ff tt t0t. i d0n waNna put high h0pes. cuz i'll eNd up falliN badly. beeN deR d0ne tt. i'm sl0wly dRiftiN away.. i alwaEs fail t0 make tiNgs w0rk. i'm tRyin t0 0ccupy mySelf wit tiNgs i l0ve t0 d0 but tt l0nelineSs in me remaiNs..
i wiSh i knew e aNs t0 all my qNs..
0h well.. let me g0 dRy my teaRs..
michie sweetZ,i l0ve u aS much aS i l0ve e reSt..
d0n eveR feel uR beiN left 0ut.. *hugz*
Y12:01 PM
